Freedom for youth

Looming noortele! Meid ei mõisteta kuna me ei taha midagi mõista.

My head is time bomb....6....5...4...3...2..

My head is a time bomb
Waiting to go off
You can not run you can not hide
You must embrace the death
And come to me
Darkness runs in my veins
I'm evil not only inside
I look hideous
When I open my blood red eyes
I see destruction around me
Everybody is dead
I am alone in this world
Single tear drops from my eye
Tear of joy
At last I'm alone with my pain
Now I walk this Earth alone
It's different when you were here
But I cant bring you back
You died before the bomb was made
You died between my hands
That ripped my heart into pieces
Truth is this that I have no more heart to give
No more tears to cry
I wasn't always like this
I laughed, cried, played when you where still in my heart
When i had a heart.
Now I've cursed myself to walk this Earth forever
Alone.......

Lost in Hell

My soul has gone to the other side, my words are glistening in the air and floating over your head.
The sun is falling and so am I. Falling and falling, not being able to think or cry. Heat is burning just like hell. Suddenly my falling comes to an end. There's an impact with the ground and I feel pain but there are no tears. Every bone in my body is broken and so is my heart. I am tormented by pain. I want to die I don't want to exist. Nothing helps. Screaming has vanished into thin air. Some time, later after,( Month, year, day, minute, second, I can't recognize time any more,) pain has stopped and it was replaced with curiosity. I try to stand up. And it is working, I look around and I find myself in the middle of the ocean of flames and lava. It have burned my face and I have realized that I was standing on a small island which had no way out. I fainted. When I woke up I was so thirsty that I didn't have a clue what to do. I had no memories I knew that this was supposed to be hell. I had been waiting for a long time. My throat was aching and my eyes could barely see through all the brimstone and steam. I gathered all my courage and strength and jumped into the lava hoping it would kill me. But it didn't. It hurt like nothing had ever hurt before. I passed out. When I awoke I saw my own reflection in a black marble. I stood up and found myself in a city made of red rubies. I wasn't impressed or anything. I would have given anything to see sunlight again. I stepped into the shadows. I wondered around and I wondered were all inhabitants were! I stepped into a large dome-shaped building. It was a lot like a coliseum back at home only this one was covered with rubies and the floor was shining black. It was then when I first heard the steps. As I was bare foot and naked as I understood now. I couldn't help to look. And I saw myself only the skin looked black just like the floor and the body was covered with dark red symbols. He didn't open his mouth words just came from nothingness : " You don't belong here" At the same moment he struck a ruby red dagger into my heart and I felt like falling again. I smiled when I hit the ground. That was the last thing I remembered!

Heaven is not better than everything else

Well here I was where ever this Here was! I smelled moist and fresh air. There was a drizzle. I still had no memories but I knew what Earth looked like, in fact for a second I thought that it's finally it! I opened my eyes and found that I wasn't lying on the ground but floating on a silver-white cloud. That's the place where I passed out the third time! When I was awoken, yes, I was awoken because there was something else there! After hell or what ever it was I couldn't feel any more pain so I stood up sitting. That was the moment I saw her! She had blood-red hair and her eyes seemed to change color every time she blinked her eyelashes. Well the long story shortly said: she was perfect! She took my hand and kissed it! It felt wonderful and that was nothing I had ever felt before. Orgasm was nothing compared to this! It seemed ages before she let go of my hand! I was too high to notice it and realized it when she opened her cherry-red lips and asked me to a walk. I was enchanted and I couldn't refuse. "Why shouldn't I ?" , I thought. We walked in a magnificent garden where flowers bloomed and blossomed, but all I saw on my way was her hair and that sweet smile. World around me was all foggy and out of focus. I couldn't tell how long we had walked but it seemed like forever. One moment we reached a small house or a hut where we spent the night. That was a magical time which seemed like forever as everything else had seemed before. We made love like I had never done before. You can imagine if one kiss was better than thousand orgasms then what the orgasm felt! I can't describe that feeling. it felt close to essence of love. I fell asleep and had the weirdest dream. Well I wasn't an expert on dreams because this one was the only one I could remember. I was back in the black floored Colosseum. In the center of the circle was HE. Dark me! He was hovering near the ground and looked very concentrated. His eyes were closed and the blood red markings had faded into his demonic skin. Suddenly I heard a voice which echoed in the sky, "What have you done!" , it shouted. "Why have you removed him from the path I had predicted for him? ANSWER ,SISTER!" I could sense the rage coming out of him. For a second the sky was silent. And then l heard something astonishing. "Silence, my brother. Soon I'll drink his blood and receive his powers. And there's nothing you can do about it" It was her voice! She who was so sweet and beautiful. I just couldn't withstand my own death sentence. I crept closer to the circle to get a closer look at the creature or what ever it was. He was flawless copy of me. He opened his eyes so quickly that I couldn't react. Voice echoed back from the walls "Don't be afraid I mean you no harm! As you can see we are similar outside. You are in the land of Chromos. This is one of many you must visit. As you heard my sister wants you for her own personal desires. I have seen your fate, it can't be changed back to normal yet." I was speechless. When I got my voice back I mumbled : " Who are you? What fate? Who am I? How did I get here? Wasn't I in bed with your sister?"
He laughed " So many questions! Well I am Kanos. And fate is actually just the future without interferences. You are the One Who Brings The Balance, Bringer of the Hope. You have thousands of names but most common of them is Shilc. You are not here actually. Your mind can exist in many places at once and travel distances with a second. Its capable to travel through space, time and realms. You are here because this is the only world or realm you know or remember. And yes you slept with my sister or so to speak. We Demons are all related to Lucifer The First One, The Cursed One. He was evil, but we are different. I for example am good, I give knowledge and power to those who seek it and are worthy to carry the responsibility which comes with it! But there are many who feed themselves on destruction and horror. Demon you slept with is called Krillen and rules the realm called Heaven. No that isn't The Heaven you think. It's just a name. Your time is running up! Don't ask how I know. Take this! This will protect you from the worst." Saying that he ripped one blood red tattoo or marking out from his body. When last of it was removed it turned into golden string. He placed it on my shoulder. It felt cold and relaxing. It melted on my skin. Forming same kind of tattoo as he had. Only black one. I sensed something new in my body. Something unexplored. He took his finger and placed on my forehead. As he did that I felt weak. I woke up. And saw something creeping onto me. It was a red headed female creature. Her body was covered with feathers and eyes were big and black. She had fanged mouth. And she was about to bite my neck! I pushed her back. And for one second I saw a mirage of a beautiful woman which could not fool me no more. Then I ran.

Fake

I'm a fake
Im left out from the cake
Cant you see my pain
I'm living in vain
riding on a flames of hell
Im running out of this realm
Vile creature who I've become
Can I change my fate
Can I change this?

Greed for more has pushed me over the edge
I seem unstoppable
All who I've ever cared for loved for
Have pushed me away
I hate my self
Me And I are at war
I step through hall
I stand in front of a door
Grabbing the handle is easy
Even opening the door
My world shakes I'm held in captive
By my self in my own head
I try to let my self free
I spread my wings and fly
What I left out there
was no longer part of me
It felt strange and angry
It screamed "You cannot leave me behind"
"You need me"
That second I flew through door´
I am one again
I've made peace with myself
I now ask you to forgive me

To Silvia And K2xu